By Liz Radzick of Manifest Consulting

My friend lives in the southern U.S. and a few weeks ago her husband suddenly got laid off. Before this happened she was already focused on networking for her coaching business and made regular rounds to networking groups, industry events and lectures/speakers in her area. But the urgency to get out and find more prospects became even more intense once the reality of becoming a one-income family loomed ahead.

A funny thing happened in the weeks after the lay-off. As she was combing through online job postings for her husband she found jobs that she knew would be of interest to people she’d recently met. So she forwarded the lead for a physical trainer at a swanky beach club to a woman who was an outgoing  personal trainer. A lead for a conference facility went to another recent contact of hers who landed a speaking gig to 250 people at that facility as a coincidental result! She’d done this for friends and family before, but never for her larger network.

“I get it!” she told me last night. “Before this happened, I was always concerned with my 30 second speech and how it came across. Was I saying the right thing, was I matching the audience with my pitch…and that’s all still important. But now I understand that networking is primarily about HELPING OTHERS, not just helping myself.” What a great insight to have!  Not only do you get to feel good about helping others, but you can enjoy the fact that others are looking out for you the same way.

One of Canada’s leading experts on networking, Donna Messer has a  contact network that extends well into the tens of thousands – a network that she routinely and freely shares with her clients, associates and acquaintances .

So here’s my suggestion: reframe networking as net-helping or net-sharing. Just like in presentation skills, when the intention of “looking good” trumps “helping others” the resulting by-product is anxiety. Think about how much you could be helping your larger network by collecting info that is useful to them. And maybe you do this already but you need to shift to making it your primary networking focus.

So show off your new attitude at an upcoming Savoir Faire Professionals event or industry wine and cheese! In my next article, I’ll show you how to accessorize it with a polished elevator brief.

By Liz Radzick of Manifest Consulting

As we approach the middle of the summer many people are looking to the fall to resume a focused job-search and go for interviews. And successful interviews rely on your ability to talk positively about yourself.

Many people get hives when thinking about self-marketing. “I don’t want to look like an egomaniac” or “I don’t want to come across as bragging” are common concerns.

First of all, it is my general impression that the average Canadian female has a self-esteem deficit the size of Denmark when it comes to accurately appraising her value. Second, the intention behind your self-marketing (see Intention Paves the Way to Success for more on intention) is not to prove your superiority but to engage people and to let them get a positive, accurate view of your activities. People are going to make their own judgments anyway – why not give them good material to work with?

So here are 2 simple things you can do to make sure you communicate your greatness:

1. Minimizing is for Pores

“Just” is one of the words that falls into the category of “minimizer” along with “sort of” “I guess” and “kind of.”

E.g.

I guess that my greatest strength is…

Well, I just oversaw this 3 million dollar product launch…

I sort of pioneered the use of this system nationally…

Don’t think that only Valley Girls talk this way – I have heard literally hundreds of people including managers and executives pitch themselves in a minimizing or ambivalent-sounding way.

2. There is no “I” in “we”

One of the by-products of the corporate focus on teamwork is that people avoid using the word “I” when describing their accomplishments. Why? Fear of being branded “not a team player.” Even when *you* are the one who initiated the sales process, came up with the idea, or organized the database it is more than likely you are hiding your accomplishments behind the “we.” Try detoxing slowly, combining the 2 words in a 50/50 ratio so that you accurately communicate your true contribution along with your peers.

The bottom line for your interviews:  Avoid minimizers and you will maximize your impact!

Want to get some hands on experience and coaching from Liz?

Check out our Boot Camp this Fall

By Liz Radzick

I love to talk and I love to hear about other people’s ideas. Sometimes I get frustrated trying to do both of these things. Why? Because the person I’m communicating with is unconsciously doing something that blocks my connection with them.

Whether it’s a personal or business situation, try to avoid the following behaviours:

1.      Not Being Present

Have you ever been on the phone with someone and felt like they weren’t really listening to you? Perhaps you could hear keyboard clicks or other noise that indicated you weren’t their sole focus. I’ve had conversations that suddenly didn’t make sense because the other person spontaneously started talking to the gas bar guy and spoke right into their phone as if the communication was meant for me.

Perhaps you’ve been in a meeting when someone was texting under the table during a presentation. Or perhaps you’ve tried to talk to a colleague and they kept typing on their computer while talking to you. It’s hard to connect with people who are multi-tasking.

Make sure this isn’t you! Give your full attention to the person or group you are with. By being present you let others know they matter and that you are interested in what they have to say. By demonstrating this type of social generosity and respect you will create a lasting positive impression and stronger bond with the people you interact with.

2.      Waiting to Speak vs. Listening

I admit I am sometimes guilty of this one. I rationalize by telling myself that I’m such a great idea person that it’s hard for me to keep quiet when what you’re saying is stimulating so many ideas in my head. You can tell when I’m doing this because I’m probably compressing my lips and holding my breath while leaning forward as if I’m going to pounce on you. Or I actually clip off the end of your sentence with my exhaled interjection.

To become a better listener, you must become present -be in the moment, try breathing in and out slowly and imagine that you are a digital recorder – repeat each sentence in your head as the person finishes saying it. Look into their eyes and unclench your fists. Relax. There is enough time for you to speak once they have finished talking.

3.      Interrupting

This behavior has “Epic Fail’ stamped all over it. You know it’s annoying when people do it to you. It’s no less annoying when you do it to others and it screams “unprofessional.” Do it with Boomers and you will be perceived as young and arrogant Nobody wants that.  See #2.

Everything we needed to know we learned in kindergarten: Play nice and wait your turn.

Stay Tuned for Part 2 next week!

Have a communication question or want to share a communication pet peeve? -Post here!

By Aurea Crotty

You can’t handle the three walls of your cubicle any longer and you’ve had just about enough of your boss’s antics! You know you’re worth more and can be more -it’s time to set sail and move on!

Move on, but be smart! You’ve waited for this day for a long time, and nothing would give you more pleasure than to FINALLY give your boss a piece of your mind.

Quitting your job, especially if you’re leaving a particularly difficult environment, can feel like your final justice, the moment where you can finally “stick it to the man” Ahh sweet vengeance!

But wait, what you may not have considered is how your employer maybe an asset to you. The world today is very small and you never know where you may run into someone again. Perhaps it is worth a second calming breadth and Zen attitude to reflect on the best course of action leaving your emotions out of it!

Emotions run high when the tides of change are upon you, quitting your job and transitioning to the next can be a time of excitement, stress and worry. With all that emotion swimming in your head, trying to stay focused can be next to impossible.

Here are some tips to help you resign with professionalism and poise.

• Plan A Not Working so Well? Time to Get Crackin’ on Plan B

Unless you’re leaving your job due to an unforeseen personal circumstance, be sure your plan B is in solid working order. Get your resume updated, your feelers out there and network working for you. Line up your interviews before and after work -or even during lunch.

• Land the Job!

Be a smart cookie and don’t react with just a job offer in hand…make sure you sign it and confirm your new position before making any moves.

• This Message Will Self Destruct in 5 Seconds…

Backup, delete, and remove all personal files. Start taking your personal belongings home. If anyone asks, tell them you’re clearing clutter or getting rid of distractions.

• Keep it on the down-low!

The last thing you want is office gossip that you’re on the outs! If your plan B isn’t yet solid and you’ve got a leak, things could really blow up in your face! Be professional, and don’t blow your cover.

• Write a Resignation Letter - KISSP style.

Keep is Short, Sweet, and Positive. You don’t need to explain the details on why you’re leaving. Here are some samples.  Even if you loath the company, be professional, and Smart!! – say something positive about the company, give them two weeks.

• Ask for a Reference

Even if you were not a model employee, it is always a good idea to ask for reference.

• Final Curtain Call…Take a bow!

Be professional -don’t burn bridges. Once you’ve given your employer the boot, this is not an excuse for you to come in late and let loose letting everyone know what you really think. On your last day, you may want to consider a thoughtful e-mail (even if you don’t really mean it), wishing everyone luck with their future endeavors, and perhaps your contact details.

It’s done, now relax! Enjoy your adventure and your next steps towards a better life.

Have a tip to share a funny story about quitting your job? Post Here