By Aurea Crotty

To underestimate the power of clarity is to undermine and stifle your ability to achieve success.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned is that if you do not have and project clarity you cannot fully achieve your objective.

Time and time again I have found myself with a million thoughts and ideas with no clear direction. I’ve pondered multiple opportunities as if looking at book shelf trying to decide which book to read. Confused by the plethora of options I’ve allowed myself to be swayed and wooed by opportunities that may not have been the best choices. I lacked clarity and in haste did not take time to consider what was best for me. The end result…a path that seems to take too much time, a struggle to yield results, and many times having to start again.

I’ve also felt that nagging feeling that something’s missing. Despite working hard, being productive, setting goals and achieving them, I’ve still felt that something just isn’t right and that there’s got to be more.

Where The Magic Happens…

When I have absolute clarity, know with precision what my objectives are, how I need to achieve them and what I needed to say –MAGIC! Really, magic…or at least that’s how it feels.

There is something phenomenal that happens when we have clarity, everything feels easy. Opportunities just happen to present themselves that align perfectly with our intentions. If I wasn’t a believer before, I can confidently tell you I am now! With so many “I can’t believe it!” moments – I have now come to believe that if a situation feels less than easy, I should reassess my level of clarity.

Lack of clarity is said to be the most common goal setting error. We put ourselves down a certain path without considering the bigger picture and whether our choices are really what we want, or more importantly, what we need. The disconnect between the two then leaves us with a feeling of dissatisfaction and makes our goals and tasks more challenging as they are not aligned.

Here are four steps I use to help me get clear.

1. Find Stillness.

Take time everyday to quiet the mind, if you don’t have the luxury of doing this during the day, take time at night with a little extra unwinding time, free from any external disturbances.

 2. Ask yourself, what you really want from your particular situation?

Try to break through all the superficial motives and reach deep to find your ultimate goal.

 3. Ask yourself, what needs to happen in order for you to achieve your goal?

Start to create an action plan.

 4. Put the wheels in motion!

I like to start talking and asking for help. By creating some action and energy around your objective you will draw it closer to you.

By Aurea Crotty

Imagine all you needed to do to achieve your greatest aspirations and realize your full potential was to reframe the words you use.

Can you recall every good moment that has ever happened to you?

According to Yvonne Oswald, author of Every Word Has Power: Switch On Your Language and Turn On Your Life, your subconscious does and will remind you of all those great moments just by meditating on the word good.

The reason for this, Yvonne tells us, is that each key word has a frequency, an energy that transcends beyond the word itself into an emotion which affects our physical and metaphysical existence.

“Powerful high-energy words such as excitement, joy, success, or love, vibrate higher and faster, thus increasing your “I feel good” feelings. Low-energy words, particularly words that have negative emotional associations such as sadness or guilt, resonate at a lower frequency. They make you feel less than great by literally lowering your energy levels. In fact, 20 percent of the words you use have strong emotional undertones, which cause you to react either negatively or positively.”*

Here are some common phrases we have all used, I have highlighted the “Key Words” our subconscious hears and reacts to:

No Problem

It just so hard

I’m so angry

I hate this

I feel sick

We can reframe these statements with high-energy words:

My pleasure

It’s just not easy

I’m not happy

I don’t love this

I don’t feel well

The idea is not that we are trying to rid ourselves of human emotions which include anger and frustration, but rather how we choose to handle and articulate them to our inner-self.

You may be wondering about the use of the words “Not” or “Don’t”. The subconscious mind does not know how to process “negative commands”

“Do not think of a white elephant. Do not think of a white elephant with pink spots –dancing on a stage. Do not remember the number 167. Which number are you not to remember? Your unconscious cannot process what is not. It simply responds to the key words you give it”.*

Some more food for thought…be cognizant of how you talk about other people as your subconscious mind believes you are talking about yourself!

The influence our words have on our emotions and life is a remarkable insight into our psyche and existence. Our perspective and outer expression of our mindset has everything to do with our experiences and success.  

Let us know what you think…do you think the words we use and think can change our life?

*Yvonne Oswald, Every Word Has Power: Switch On Your Language And Turn On Your Life. New York: Atria Books 2008.

I thought this book was a great read and has changed how I communicate! If you would like to read more click here

By Janice Carter

A few years ago, I decided that I wanted to climb Mount Fuji. After exhausting travel, I arrived on the cold, dark mountain and didn’t feel up to the challenge. As evening pressed on, the lack of food, water and sleep fuelled my negative mood. The pesky rock invading my hiking boot ignited my desire to retreat. Do you ever set a career goal, start to move towards it and then want to give up? 

Without patience and persistence, there’s no hope of achieving your goals. I learned this from my mistakes. I was clear about the type of work I wanted but it wasn’t coming. I doubted that my dream job would become reality. Impatient and restless, I took a job I didn’t really want. For a time I blamed the company for my dissatisfaction, then I realized that I was the problem. I wasn’t being true to myself. 

My definition of success isn’t congruent with Webster’s, which measures it by wealth. Instead, I prescribe to that of John Wooden, the former basketball coach and author of Play your Game. He says,  “Success is the peace of mind attained only through the self-satisfaction of knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you’re capable.” I knew I wasn’t doing my best when I settled for the job or considered giving up on Mount Fuji. 

Wooden writes: “Play your game…Eventually, if you play your game, stick to your style [it will be worth it] in the end. This does not mean that we will always outscore our opponent, but it does ensure that we will not beat ourselves.”

On Mount Fuji, my despondance eventually waned and I played my game. I was wonderfully encouraged as a pack of Japanese hikers passed by and zealously shouted “gambatte.”  I had no idea what it meant, but the tone in which they said it, sparked the fight in me. When I reached the summit at sunrise, I was paralyzed by the beautiful expanse of powder blue sky illuminated by radiant streams of pinks and oranges. I can’t believe I almost missed that! I later learned that “gambatte” means “go for it” or “try your best.” I challenge you to stay true to yourself and persistently go after what you want. 

Tips for career success:

1. Clearly define your goals by writing them out.  Post your list of goals on the bathroom mirror, or somewhere you’ll actually read it. If you’re a visual person, translate it into a vision board.

 2. Share your goals with friends and/or family.

3. Periodically, take time out to be quiet and reflect. Assess whether you’re doing what you want to be doing. 

 4. Be patient & persevere. Gambatte!

Reference: TED Conference: John Wooden on true success  http://www.ted.com/talks/john_wooden_on_the_difference_between_winning_and_success.html

Share your definition of success and get a copy of our newest book The White Tiger: Post here

By Aurea Crotty

Finding her Passion:

Growing up in Aurora, Ontario, Jackie Mirkopoulos always knew she had a passion for health and wellness.  Beginning her journey at York University Jackie completed a five year Honours degree in Kinesiology. Jackie says she knew her very first day of University that she was one day going to run her own health and wellness centre.

 She had found her passion and wanted to share her expertise with others. As she puts it, “another thing that has always motivated me to start my own business was to be able to share my passion about a healthy lifestyle with a large number of people in a very direct, hands on, one-on-one, personal way”.

Her Story:

After completing her degree Jackie wanted to take her passion and knowledge to the next level, she enrolled in the Sutherland-Chan Massage Therapy Teaching School and Clinic, receiving her RMT designation.

 ”After spending 6 years of post secondary schooling, I was ready to take all the knowledge and the skills I had learned and apply it to the working world”.

Being very clear on her dream of owning her own clinic, Jackie decided to dive right in and start her own registered message therapy business. “I knew it was going to be hard to become established at another clinic, build clientele and then one day have to move on and leave them behind. I wasted no time and started, by word of mouth, working out of my house and offering house call services for massage”- her client base grew quicker than she could imagine.

Making it Happen:

As luck would have it, Jackie’s father had some office space become available, “it was perfect… It was four walls, and a cement floor. The perfect empty canvas for what I had always dreamed about since my first day in university”.

Off to the drawing board, Jackie worked tirelessly brining her vision to life, after many building permits, lots of construction and help from her mom decorating; Hands On You Therapeutic Clinic was born.

Jackie’s vision to build a community that embraces health as a means to achieving a balanced lifestyle now had a home.

Her Mission Statement:

“To empower clients as partners in their optimal health and well-being by providing education and implementation of strategies for health promotion, injury prevention and restoration of health, through a variety of complementary or alternative approaches”

The Challenge:

Jackie admits that she is a therapist first and a business person second, “My biggest learning curve has definitely been the business side of things, accounting, marketing, managing, basically all the things that I overlooked when I was studying kinesiology cause I thought…when am I ever going to use this stuff”…well what a wake up call!

That said, she is up for the challenge, working hard and learning to be a strong business woman, Jackie plans to achieve her goals one day at a time.

Hopes for the future: 

Jackie’s hope for her business “is that it becomes not only a successful clinic but a place in its community that people know, trust, and believe in. I want to ensure the services we offer never plateau, and are always fresh and new. We are not just another clinic…we’re a one of a kind place, with one of a kind service!”

 Her advice to you:

“Go for it, do it now. Don’t be scared to ask for help and use resources around you. The only thing stopping you is yourself”.

“Don’t think that you need to start big. It can be very small and work its way up naturally to something on a bigger scale. I would like to share my favourite quote from Michael Jordan:

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

There is nothing wrong with trying something, especially if it’s something that you are passionate about. The thing is, when you are passionate about something… that’s when your chances of success are greatest. But don’t be afraid to fall down on the way, as long as you get back up.”

To find out more about Jackie and her clinic Hand on You Therapeutic Clinic you can visit her website: http://www.handsonyou.ca/

By Janice Carter

The winter palette of dismal greys is now being replaced with lush greens and a rich array of reds, purples and yellows. The feathered fellows are tweeting their lovely melodies and despite the smog, there’s a sweet aroma in the air. The plant life that slept through the snow and sleet is now waking. As one particular seed pushes its way through the soil, it turns to its neighbouring soon-to-be flower and says, “There’s got to be someway out of here. I don’t like being in this part of the flower bed.”

Have you ever woken up and felt that you too were in the wrong bed? I’m not trying to be salacious here. Are there moments when you feel like you’re not where you want to be? I felt like this in a particular job. I remember frequently sitting at my desk thinking: “I can’t stand this job. I’m so bored. I don’t feel challenged. Oh my goodness, it’s only 11am. How can I make it through another 6 hours! Get me out of here!” I struggled to pull myself out of bed each morning because my heart really wasn’t into my work. I constantly resisted where I was. I eventually left the job. I do believe I skipped out of the office on my last day. Now, in retrospect, I can see that despite my discontent, I needed to be in that particular job at that particular time in my life. It forged a path down amazing new avenues I would not have travelled otherwise.

My Dad used to tell this joke often. A set of twins are celebrating their birthday. They somehow get dumped into a pile of dung. One twin laments his position in the heap of stink. The other twin joyfully says “Come on, start digging. There’s got to be a pony in here!” I love that joke. It says it all: your capacity to enjoy where you are is directly correlated to the mindset you choose to adopt. I suspect that you’re where you are for a reason. Whether you like it not, choose to blossom where you’re planted.

 Fertilizers to encourage blossoming:

1. Keep a gratitude journal.

2. Stop and reward yourself when you achieve a goal.

3. Play “cheerleader” for people in your life by encouraging and supporting them.

4. Be honest with your friends when you’re struggling. There’s no shame in admitting you’re going through a tough time.

5. Celebrate when things are going well.

 Are you blossoming where you’re planted?

By Leanne James

Landing your dream job can be as stressful as it is exciting. You want to fit in; make an impression; wow the pants off of them; but you don’t want to go overboard and end up with an office full of new colleagues raising their eyebrows every time you open your mouth. Below are a list of dos and don’t to help you get through those awkward first few weeks at a new job.

Dos

Make the rounds: It’s easy to silo yourself in your cubicle, but no one will ever appreciate the value you bring to the office unless you make it a point to introduce yourself to as many people as possible. Let them get to know you and what you bring to the table. You’ll also make valuable connections and discover new resources in the process.

Dress and act the part: Every office and organization has a different culture. Be sure to dress as professionally as possible and choose your words carefully. Once you’ve better learned the lay of the land, you’ll know if jeans are appropriate and you’ll have a better sense of just how colourful your language can and should be.

Know your role: It’s important to know where you fit in the company structure and hierarchy. This will go a long way in helping you develop the appropriate dynamic between those with positions above and below your own. You’ll make friends much faster if you know who to approach with a handshake and who you can give a high five to.

Don’ts

Expecting the best: Though many companies offer a progressive culture and opportunities for advancement, you still have to earn your stripes. Don’t believe that you’re entitled; in a new workplace; the fewer your demands and expectations from managers and co-workers, the more respect you’ll earn.

Being the eternal student: Each of us learns something new everyday, but it’s important to remember that you’re still expected to provide optimal results for your work.  If you’re unsure of something, ask the most appropriate person rather than moving ahead and coming out with a poor final product. Remember to try your best, go the extra mile and be accountable for your successes and failures.

Narrowing your mind: Every company does things differently. Don’t believe your way is always the best way or the only way to do things right. Be sure to listen and consider others’ ideas; you’ll learn a lot in the process and will garner more respect for your own ideas.

Leanne James is the Vice President of Human Resources at APEX Public Relations in Toronto

By Janice Carter

Last week, I reluctantly shared my vision board homework assignment with my Savoir Faire Professionals ‘On Track’ Mastermind Group. I really like public speaking, but I was nervous about sharing the carefully chosen, deeply personal images that reflect my heart’s desires. My collage of a lovely husband, cute babies, a grand piano, scrumptious food and depictions of  Italy and France hangs comfortably in the comfort of my own home. I wasn’t so comfortable, however, unveiling it to the public. What if my dreams looked cheesy to others?

To my surprise, the other ladies had many of the same images on their boards! As much as I like to think that I’m fabulously unique, I’m reminded of the universal ties that bind us together. Almost everyone had images of friends, marriage, children, a lovely home and some good food. I also noticed that “love” appeared on many boards.

As a group, we agreed that creating vision boards had crystallized our thoughts. It gave physical form to the dreams inside our heads. I’ve also heard stories of people’s vision boards becoming reality. Wow, how sweet! I hope this happens to me! Vision boards are a wonderful way to tap into your imagination. Einstein said it best “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”

I challenge you to create a vision board and share it with your friends and/or family!

To make your own vision board:

1. Put on some of your favourite music and daydream as you flip through magazines and pull out images you like. For example, your dream vacation, home, children, husband, food, career, hobbies, etc.
2. Shortlist your favourites and clip them out neatly
3. Get yourself a piece of bristol board
4. Glue the images
5. Share your creation!

By Liz Radick

In the last article I talked about how not being present, waiting to speak vs. listening, and interrupting are all behaviours that can disrupt effective communication.  Here are a few more of my least favorite communication habits:

1. Talking too quickly

The modern world moves at warp speed but that doesn’t mean you have to talk that fast. If you’re talking too quickly you’re probably also:

• Rambling
• Using too many filler words such as ‘um’ and ‘like’
• Not thinking before you speak
• Ignoring your listener’s signals that they have tuned out or have a question for you.

If you notice that you are speaking quickly try to stop and take a breath.  Breathe before each sentence. Pronounce every word as if your listener had to lip read what you are saying.

Listen to a podcast and try to speak along with the narrator/host at the same speed they are speaking at.  It will feel like you are talking in slow-mo, but actually you’ll be at just the right speed.  And maybe skip the Red Bull for breakfast.

2. Using Jargon

You worked hard for your financial/ medical/ insurance/ coaching/ legal designation and that’s great. Just don’t expect me to understand what a business methodology that helps companies manage marketplace variability and complexity and align company strategies with execution processes in an IS20087-B environment means.

When you use words I don’t understand I do two things:

1. Feel stupid

2. Tune out

Probably not the effect you’re looking for.  Watch your listener’s reactions.  Are they following you? Just because they are nodding politely doesn’t mean they understand.

Your best bet is to speak plainly or explain the acronyms and terms that are so familiar to you. (Check out http://www.johnsmurf.com/jargon.htm for more fun samples of bad jargon usage)

3. Giving Unsolicited Advice

Sometimes we’re blunt about it: “You should really get organized.” Sometimes we veil the advice under a question: “Don’t you think you’d save more time if you were more organized?”

Receiving a ‘teachable moment’ when you’re just plain emotional, frustrated or exhausted is no fun.  If you want to give advice try asking “I have a suggestion if you’re open to it” or even ask the person “Do you just need to vent right now or do you want me to give you some ideas for solutions?”

The bottom line: sometimes your full attention is a better deal than your free advice.

Have a question for Liz? Want to share your pet peeves? Post Here!

By Emma-Louise Elsey

Need a serious boost in your career or life? Well, turn off the TV, invest in yourself and stretch your mind with one of these thought provoking page-turners instead.

1. “Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers” by Lois P. Frankel

Who it’s for: If you’ve ever slaved away like a little ant hoping to get noticed, while Dave seems to spend half his day chatting to the boss – and still gets all the good assignments, then this book is for you.

There are 7 sections covering everything from politics to personal branding to how we communicate. Read it cover to cover or simply pick it up, review one of the 101 ‘mistakes’ discussed and ponder.

And while I disagree with some of the suggestions, I could not agree more with the core message – that success comes not from acting like a man, but by acting like a woman instead of a girl.

2. “Difficult Conversations” by Douglas Hatton, Bruce Stone and Sheila Heen

Who it’s for: If you ever avoid difficult conversations, or launch into them and then wish things had gone differently, then this book is for you.

Conflict is inevitable. But in business and life we often avoid essential conversations like asking for a well-deserved raise, giving feedback to a touchy staff-member or confronting a friend who has been undermining us.

It doesn’t have to be that way. This invaluable book gives you the lowdown on a rare skill that will make you shine as you move up the corporate ladder (and preserve your sanity too!)

3. “Take Yourself to the Top” by Laura Berman-Fortgang

Who it’s for: If you would you like more from life than just doing your job in the week and relaxing (or collapsing) on weekends then this book is for you.

The world has changed. Organizational restructuring and downsizing are common, we move jobs regularly and this means we have to constantly reprove and reinvent ourselves. So whether you’re a professional or an entrepreneur, we all need to look out for ourselves and be a leader in our own lives.

Laura’s book helps us do just that, showing how to take charge of our career and life, stop making excuses and go out and make our dreams happen.

4. “Now Discover Your Strengths” by Marcus Buckingham

Who it’s for: If you want to know what your greatest strengths are, boost your career and enjoy yourself more then this book is for you.

Marcus believes we would all be a lot more successful if we focused on building and using our strengths. As opposed to the current culture (think employee appraisals and school report cards) which focuses on improving and trying to ‘fix’ our weaknesses.

So, go ahead and discover Top 5 Signature Strengths and hidden talents using the online test. Now all you need to do is start using them!

5. “The 4-Hour Workweek” by Tim Ferriss

Who it’s for: If you truly love your job or your office is a “home away from home”, then this book is not for you. But if you want to get inspired to work less or find a way to inject some well-deserved adventure into your life then get reading!

Despite the many criticisms that could be levelled at it, this book makes it mark by giving us a new definition of wealth: The “New Rich” focus on happiness and enjoyment now rather than waiting to retire, whereas “Deferrers” work their way up organizations, collect status symbols and wait to retire (or die). Which are you?

About the author: Emma-Louise Elsey is a recovering perfectionist committed to living a life of simplicity, ease and happiness on Salt Spring Island with her husband, Starsky the cat and Dexter the dog. As the CEO of Simplicity Life Coaching, a certified Life-Coach and NLP practitioner, she has worked with many smart, successful women to get them unstuck in their careers and lives. She now works with fellow coaches, providing professional coaching tools and exercises at http://www.thecoachingtoolscompany.com that help them skyrocket both their clients and business. Also, coming soon www.rebelwomencafe – an inspirational website for unconventional women who are passionate about life!

By Aurea Crotty

Most successful people will attribute their success to the help and guidance they received from mentors. I am a firm believer that to be successful we absolutely need to find people who have already paved the way and are willing to teach their key learning so that we may excel beyond and achieve our goals. When you open yourself up to a mentor to receive their advice, guidance, and encouragement you save yourself the time, effort, and tribulations it would have otherwise taken you to achieve that particular task. A mentor relationship is not about taking shortcuts, as I guarantee you will encounter your own challenges, but with a mentor by your side, your bounce back will be that much quicker, and the hope is that you are duplicating the same mistakes.

The impact a mentor has on your life is truly up to you and your willingness to be open and be influenced by another person. As the mentor is investing and giving unto you, it is your responsibility to give unto them by embracing their advice and implementing it. A mentor’s impact on your life is also determined by your mentor’s willingness to help you in everyway possible to help you achieve your goal.

When looking for a mentor, you want to connect with someone who authentically cares about you and who wants you to be successful. You should select someone you respect and look up to, someone you would like to be like.

Here are some tips for finding and working with a mentor:

1. Find a mentor who has similar goals and is on the same career path as you. (Or career path you would like to be on)
2. Select a mentor you respect and who authentically cares about your development and growth, someone who is going to embrace you and help you in any way they can to ensure you are successful.
3. Make sure your mentor has the time to dedicate to your relationship.
4. The best way to start a mentorship relationship is to be friends first –reach out to your mentor start slow.
5. As your mentor needs to commit to you, you must commit to your mentor –take time to foster the relationship and show gratitude.

Do you have questions about finding a mentor? Have any advice you would like to add…post here.