By Wendy Litner

I don’t think I’m ready to have a baby, because I only want to be pregnant on the weekends.  On Saturdays, I long for that expectant glow and that little bump in the belly of women growing new life inside them.  Not the ninth month ‘my back hurts, get this baby out of me now’ bump, more like the sixth month ‘I’m just starting to show and isn’t my fetus adorable’ bump. 

But standing on the subway on cold Monday mornings, the only really tangible benefit that I can see to being pregnant is possibly getting a seat on crowded public transit.  And now that women have rightfully achieved pay and social equity, people hardly offer up their coveted seats unless a woman is actually giving birth on their train. 

I know I want to raise children and have a family but my disparate feelings towards pregnancy, the biological mechanism by which these lofty goals are achieved, have started to worry me.  How will I know when I’m ready to be a mother?  When will I want to have a baby on weekdays?

As I approach my thirtieth birthday, it seems that self-satisfied mothers are continually reminding me of my ticking biological clock and egging me on to begin procreating immediately as they have.  I believe the pun is intended.    

As someone who views anxiety as a pastime, I do worry about the functionality of my ovaries.  But amid all the peer pressure, genetic testing, folic acid, and basal body thermometers, I have to admit that I am more fearful of motherhood.  Is my hesitancy, though, an indicator of a lack of maternalism.  It terrifies me that I may not have the Mommy genes, only Mommy jeans. 

It is this worry that consumes me while I baby-sit my nieces, lingering in the crevices of my mind as we eat gummy-worms in our pajamas while singing and dancing to Grease tunes with ballpoint pen microphones.  It is this nervousness that tugs on me while I read them bedtime stories, and tuck them into their warm and cozy beds.  I hide my angst behind funny voices and distracting tickles but wonder if they can tell.  I wonder if kids can instinctively sense an inability to mother. 

And just as I am breaking into a nervous sweat, my increasingly frantic thoughts are interrupted as my niece throws her arms around me, kissing my neck and declaring in the sweetest six-year old voice, “Goodnight Aunty Wendy”. 

And just like that I know.  I know that I’ll know when it’s time.  I know that I’ll know when I’m ready.  In the meantime, I am going to savour the thrill of finding an empty weekday subway seat, always being sure to give it up to any women with an expectant glow and little bump.

By Dr. Samantha Ristimaki, BSc, ND of Balance Wellness Center

Creating an environment suitable for growing a child is not something that happens during pregnancy.  Careful planning is required to help prepare the body and increase fertility.  Taking a few simple steps before you start trying will not only optimize your well being, but also give your baby a healthy start.

 Preparing your Body

Get off the Pill:  Your body needs time to clear the hormones in conceptive medications out of your system.  Your cycle needs time to get back on track too, so plan an alternative method of contraception for 3-6 months before trying to get pregnant.

Vitamins: Start taking a good quality prenatal vitamin for at least 3 months prior to conceiving.  Folic acid requirements double in pregnancy so be sure you are getting at least 0.4mg to prevent neural tube defects and a low birth weight baby.

Ditch the bad habits: Lifestyle factors like smoking, doing drugs and drinking will not only harm your unborn child, but they can have a negative impact on your fertility. 

Check you medications:  Prescription drugs for blood pressure, seizure medication or even allergy medication may not be safe to use in pregnancy.  Plan ahead and talk to your doctor about the need for them prior to conceiving.

Exercise Regularly: Bearing children and carrying around an extra 30 lbs (or more) requires a lot of physical work.  Cardiovascular activity will help your heart and your whole body handle the physical stress of pregnancy.  Attaining a healthy weight is also a great way to optimize your fertility.

Balanced Diet:  If you are already eating healthy when your baby is conceived, you are increasing its chances of being healthy.  Include lots of fruits and vegetables, lean meats, whole grains and healthy fats.

Avoid Environmental Toxins: A baby’s organs start to form 17 days after conception.  Most women don’t even realize they are pregnant at this point.  Toxins from pesticides, certain cleaning products, paint and decorating supplies and even some craft supplies may affect your unborn child.

Relax!  High levels of stress are associated with reduced fertility rates.  Slow down and implement regular activities that are calming to the body such as yoga or meditation.