By Liz Radzick of Manifest Consulting

It’s getting close to the end of the year, a time to reflect and plan for the upcoming 2010. Although I feel the new year more profoundly in September, I’ll take any chance for a ‘do-over’ and so in this spirit I submit my list of communication resolutions for the coming year.

I have divided the list into 3 categories: Written Communication, Spoken Communication and Self-Talk.

Written Communication

In the coming year I would like to write even more thank-you notes and congratulations cards.  I have personally been the recipient of a number of these this year and I really appreciated them.

I will continue to avoid starting a round of email tag by including several specific date/time suggestions when trying to set up a meeting with someone. Sending an email with “Are you free next week sometime?” is too vague and results in lots of backing and forthing.

I will make even more of an effort to get people’s cell phone numbers when I meet them. I find texting is the best way to reach people these days so I’m going to stop leaving so many voice mails and just let my fingers do the talking.

Spoken Communication

I will be more conscious of when I’m telling a story with numerous side-trips to other stories or factoids. I know this drives my listeners crazy when a simple story takes 10 minutes to tell.

I will let you finish your sentences even more often. Call me on it when I don’t let you finish.

I will continue to work on a ratio of 5 positive comments to every 1 negative comment that come out of my mouth. If I shoot for 5, I find I don’t want to even say 1 to disrupt the flow.

Self-Talk

I will continue to talk to myself in a quiet, compassionate voice rather than barking at myself. It feels so much better and my stomach isn’t as tight as a result.

I will celebrate more often the little successes in life, especially as I lay my head on my pillow at night.

I will journal those successes more often so that when I’m feeling down and need to remind myself I can give myself this gift.

And I resolve, dear readers, to continue to give you the best that I can in this space in 2010! Thank you for all of your comments and your support. Happy New Year!

By Liz Radzick of Manifest Consulting

Answering the question “How’s Business?” is challenging enough without being in a recession. If you are one of those still standing in a firm that has been through rounds of layoffs, you may be pulling the load of several people and feeling the strain mentally and emotionally. If you are a small business owner you don’t want to scare people off with stories of how you’re cashing in airline points for food.

Remember that the goal of the elevator brief is simple: to clearly explain what you are doing so that the person listening is

a)     Impressed and

b)     Interested enough to engage in dialogue and possibly refer business

So here are some common responses you might have heard (or given) to the question “How’s Business?”:

Busy, busy, busy.

Ohmigawd I am going crazy with my GST right now and I’m racing against 2 major client deadlines.

It’s really slow. I’m getting kind of worried.

 Let’s analyze each response for its effectiveness:

Many people think this is an impressive answer, after all busy implies that you’re not lazy. But if you’re standing at the sink in the restroom chatting with the EVP and this is all you say, you’ve missed a great opportunity to highlight your contribution to the company with someone you get limited face-time with.

Here you sound like you’re complaining and overwhelmed, which may be an honest response but not an impressive one.

If you are a small business owner, say this only to your close friends. Your clients and potential clients want to see you as successful and energetic enough to put in front of people they think you could help.

So here’s a 3 step formula to follow:

Start with a Brief Positive Statement: “I’ve been really challenged with all of the new responsibilities on my plate but I’m excited about how much more experience I’m getting in technical writing.”

Tell an Interesting Story “I’ve invited David Suzuki to be our first speaker at our departmental recycling meeting and I branded the meeting “Trash Talk” which the whole department just loved!”

 Talk About Benefits: How does what you do help your clients/the organization: “Because my clients want to do Zumba on days when my studio doesn’t offer classes, I’ve created an online Zumba class video archive for them so that they can get their Zumba fix at home for free on those days as an added value!”

By Liz Radzick of Manifest Consulting

Nobody needs to be reminded that modern urban life is busy busy busy.  And yet many people make the mistake of rambling, using technical jargon and acronyms or pulling a blank when faced with the prospect of giving new acquaintances, senior management,  or potential clients a quick and interesting snapshot of what they do. So in the first of this 2 part series we’ll tackle how to give an impressive answer to the question “What do you do?”

How many times have you asked someone this question and gotten (or given) answers like this 

I’m in banking.

I’m the internal monitor for the advanced planning group conducting an S5-B process alignment. 

I run my own accounting business.

The goal of the elevator brief is simple: to clearly explain what you do so that the person listening is

a)      Impressed and

b)      Interested enough to engage in dialogue and possibly refer business

Let’s analyze each of the responses: 

Boring. I have no clear picture of what you do on a daily basis and you’re probably going to make me ask several questions to help myself understand what you do.

Wow, do I feel stupid after hearing your answer because I didn’t understand all the jargon. So I’ll just nod my head and give you a phony smile and nod. Then run.

This is better than the first two because it’s clear. But it’s very vanilla –If I knew you worked with actors or musicians to help them organize their finances I might be able to refer you business.

 So here’s a 3 step formula to follow:

Start with a Brief Positive Statement: “I have a great job in finance where I analyze data to figure out where we should open new branches.” Avoid jargon and acronyms. Think Grade 8 level.

Establish Credibility: Refer to education, travel, awards, publishing, recent projects (without divulging confidentiality of course): “After I got my MBA at the London School of Economics I started here in research and moved up to the Executive Director position 6 months ago.”

Talk About Benefits: How does what you do help your clients/the organization: “I love my dog-walking business because I help people who have high-energy dog breeds  like Terriers and Poodles give their pets the optimal amount of recommended daily exercise.” Use stats or numbers to quantify your benefits if possible.

 Next time: Answering the question “How’s Business?”

By Liz Radzick of Manifest Consulting

A common complaint I often hear is “I don’t know how to do small talk!” We tell ourselves “What do I have to say of interest to a VP with an MBA?” We falsely predetermine that we don’t meet the International Stimulating Conversation Standard. Or perhaps we’re a little introverted and need some tips to get going.

There is no absolute right or wrong way to chat with someone – but there are some more effective choices you can make:

1. Make a positive comment on the situation or surroundings you’re in: the weather, the buffet set-up, the size of the crowd, the speaker.

2. Ask an open-ended question. These are questions that begin with Who, What, Where, Why, How. Closed-ended questions begin with Do You or Have You and can be answered with a Yes or No. They tend to stall conversations with people you don’t know well.

3. Tend to forget names? Repeat their name when asking questions. “Karen, what do you think about what Tom just said?”

4. Avoid religion, politics, and re-enactments of that funny Saturday Night Live sketch you saw on YouTube. 

5. If you know in advance who will be at the event, Google the person or follow them on Twitter to find out more about their interests. I recently emceed a conference which was keynoted by a local radio celebrity. I followed her for a week on Twitter so that when we met I knew her daughter was going to University for first year, that she cottaged in the Kawarthas and that she was religious about her workouts.  I had lots of questions to ask her when we met.

6. Talk about your passions. Your recent half-marathon. The new gluten-free muffin you just tried to bake.  How you’re trying to take up knitting (again).

7. Tell a story. Preferably not racy or inappropriate but rather about a random act of kindness, a funny travel incident, or a pleasant childhood memory. Stories engage your listeners’ hearts and minds and are fun to tell. They subtly reveal who you are while stimulating related stories in your listeners’ minds.

8. Read news digests like http://www.newser.com/ or business-related publications like http://hbr.harvardbusiness.org/ or http://www.wsj.com/ so that you can feel up-to-date on current topics. Start a conversation with “I just read an interesting article in…”

 Bottom line: Small talk isn’t a big deal if you prepare in advance and get out and practice.

By Liz Radzick of Manifest Consulting

“It drives me crazy,” ranted my friend on the phone. “My boss has got this arrogant attitude when we’re pitching to new clients, like he knows what’s right and it just comes off like he’s a [word deleted]!” As a result, my friend’s company is losing potential clients.

What if this is not case a of his boss being an…um…ding-a-ling,  but instead is someone who is motivated internally? In Shelle Rose Charvet’s book Words That Change Minds (see also the article “Toward Success and Away From Failure” for more on this topic) she asks:

Where does the person find motivation?
In external sources, or in internal standards and beliefs?

My friend’s boss sounds like he might have an Internal pattern in a given context (new client meetings) in which he decides about the quality of his work, and has a hard time hearing other people’s opinions and outside direction.

People with this pattern tend to resist when someone
tells them what to do or tries to decide for them.

You can spot them visually because they are often sitting upright and point to themselves. If the deal doesn’t go through for an Internal pattern person, they might say to themselves “The customer is a jerk because he didn’t appreciate what I did for him.”

On the other end of the spectrum, an External pattern person

“needs other people’s opinions, outside direction, and feedback to stay motivated…In the absence of this, they will experience something akin to sensory deprivation.”

You can spot someone with an External pattern  because they are leaning forward and watching for indications from you that what they did/said was all right.

So how might my friend approach his boss to influence his behaviour in these meetings? Useful phrases to use with Internal pattern situations include:

Only you can decide…

You might consider…

It’s up to you…

Maybe try it out and decide what you think…

It’s your call…

 e.g. “You know Owen, I was just wondering about one way we might consider pitching the account this afternoon…Ultimately, it’s your decision of course but I was just thinking (insert suggestion)…What are your thoughts on that?”   I would then walk away and let the person think it over for themselves without hovering over them.

If you’ve got an Internal pattern situation in your life, you might want to try this approach sometime. Ultimately, it’s up to you!

By Liz Radzick of Manifest Consulting

I just helped a friend work on a project and today when it got green-lighted he called me. “I couldn’t have done this without you,” he said with sincere gratitude in his voice. (I’m still glowing from the praise!) Did I appreciate the feedback? Yes.  Am I motivated to help him more? You bet.

Bob Nelson, author of 1001 Ways to Reward Employees states that “While money is important to employees, what tends to motivate them to perform and to perform at higher levels is the thoughtful, personal kind of recognition that signifies true appreciation for a job well done.”

The good news is that giving effective positive feedback is as simple as following what I call the ACE method: Action, Circumstance, and Effect.

1.      Action

First state the specific action that you want to recognize. Two phrases you can use are:

 I heard you say

 I saw you do…(or other appropriate verb)

 e.g. Cathy, I wanted to congratulate you/thank you for a job well done.

I saw you chair the sales meeting yesterday

heard you give your presentation on Tuesday

This may seem obvious but people frequently have busy brains at work and may not immediately understand which situation you are referring to.

 2.      Circumstances/Details

Next go into detail about what the person did SPECIFICALLY that impressed you. Did they take initiative/organize well/demonstrate creativity? The more detail you can show the more you demonstrate that you really paid attention to their effort and the more meaningful the feedback becomes. Go to sites like http://www.quintcareers.com/action_skills.html to help you find descriptive verbs with impact.

e.g. I really liked how you organized the data into the 4 column spreadsheet and integrated the brand colours into the template.

3.      Effect

            Finally, talk about the impact of their actions

            Externally – on the team/company/project  (observable or tangible results)

            Internally -  how it made you personally feel/respond (emotional results)

E.g. Because you took the initiative to design the template, it really made our team stand out at the meeting and Bob, the VP of Sales was very impressed (external). As well, I really appreciated all the extra effort you made and I was grateful that you took charge of the project because it made my life a lot easier (internal).

Delivered sincerely, and in a timely manner this positive feedback will make you both feel good. Hope you enjoyed this article (you can thank me later).

By Aurea Crotty

To underestimate the power of clarity is to undermine and stifle your ability to achieve success.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned is that if you do not have and project clarity you cannot fully achieve your objective.

Time and time again I have found myself with a million thoughts and ideas with no clear direction. I’ve pondered multiple opportunities as if looking at book shelf trying to decide which book to read. Confused by the plethora of options I’ve allowed myself to be swayed and wooed by opportunities that may not have been the best choices. I lacked clarity and in haste did not take time to consider what was best for me. The end result…a path that seems to take too much time, a struggle to yield results, and many times having to start again.

I’ve also felt that nagging feeling that something’s missing. Despite working hard, being productive, setting goals and achieving them, I’ve still felt that something just isn’t right and that there’s got to be more.

Where The Magic Happens…

When I have absolute clarity, know with precision what my objectives are, how I need to achieve them and what I needed to say –MAGIC! Really, magic…or at least that’s how it feels.

There is something phenomenal that happens when we have clarity, everything feels easy. Opportunities just happen to present themselves that align perfectly with our intentions. If I wasn’t a believer before, I can confidently tell you I am now! With so many “I can’t believe it!” moments – I have now come to believe that if a situation feels less than easy, I should reassess my level of clarity.

Lack of clarity is said to be the most common goal setting error. We put ourselves down a certain path without considering the bigger picture and whether our choices are really what we want, or more importantly, what we need. The disconnect between the two then leaves us with a feeling of dissatisfaction and makes our goals and tasks more challenging as they are not aligned.

Here are four steps I use to help me get clear.

1. Find Stillness.

Take time everyday to quiet the mind, if you don’t have the luxury of doing this during the day, take time at night with a little extra unwinding time, free from any external disturbances.

 2. Ask yourself, what you really want from your particular situation?

Try to break through all the superficial motives and reach deep to find your ultimate goal.

 3. Ask yourself, what needs to happen in order for you to achieve your goal?

Start to create an action plan.

 4. Put the wheels in motion!

I like to start talking and asking for help. By creating some action and energy around your objective you will draw it closer to you.

By Aurea Crotty

Imagine all you needed to do to achieve your greatest aspirations and realize your full potential was to reframe the words you use.

Can you recall every good moment that has ever happened to you?

According to Yvonne Oswald, author of Every Word Has Power: Switch On Your Language and Turn On Your Life, your subconscious does and will remind you of all those great moments just by meditating on the word good.

The reason for this, Yvonne tells us, is that each key word has a frequency, an energy that transcends beyond the word itself into an emotion which affects our physical and metaphysical existence.

“Powerful high-energy words such as excitement, joy, success, or love, vibrate higher and faster, thus increasing your “I feel good” feelings. Low-energy words, particularly words that have negative emotional associations such as sadness or guilt, resonate at a lower frequency. They make you feel less than great by literally lowering your energy levels. In fact, 20 percent of the words you use have strong emotional undertones, which cause you to react either negatively or positively.”*

Here are some common phrases we have all used, I have highlighted the “Key Words” our subconscious hears and reacts to:

No Problem

It just so hard

I’m so angry

I hate this

I feel sick

We can reframe these statements with high-energy words:

My pleasure

It’s just not easy

I’m not happy

I don’t love this

I don’t feel well

The idea is not that we are trying to rid ourselves of human emotions which include anger and frustration, but rather how we choose to handle and articulate them to our inner-self.

You may be wondering about the use of the words “Not” or “Don’t”. The subconscious mind does not know how to process “negative commands”

“Do not think of a white elephant. Do not think of a white elephant with pink spots –dancing on a stage. Do not remember the number 167. Which number are you not to remember? Your unconscious cannot process what is not. It simply responds to the key words you give it”.*

Some more food for thought…be cognizant of how you talk about other people as your subconscious mind believes you are talking about yourself!

The influence our words have on our emotions and life is a remarkable insight into our psyche and existence. Our perspective and outer expression of our mindset has everything to do with our experiences and success.  

Let us know what you think…do you think the words we use and think can change our life?

*Yvonne Oswald, Every Word Has Power: Switch On Your Language And Turn On Your Life. New York: Atria Books 2008.

I thought this book was a great read and has changed how I communicate! If you would like to read more click here

By Wendy Litner

I am standing at the back of a salsa aerobics class, trying to be as invisible as wall-to-wall mirrors will allow.  I joined this gym months ago but have only had time to attend twice.  It’s not that I don’t want to go; it’s just that after such long, panty-hosed days, I can’t resist the comfort of my pajama pants.  As I find exercise to be a horrible chore that I must get done if I’m to keep fitting into my pants, I thought a dance class might be a fun way to take my medicine.  Besides, techno music happens to be a guilty pleasure of mine, and I haven’t gotten my $100-dollars-worth out of my LuLu’s yet. 

But, as Giovanni the instructor calls out steps that everyone else knows, it is obvious that I am out of my element.  My awkwardness is simply palpable. 

I try my best to follow, but I feel like Dirty Dancing’s Baby who has stumbled in on an underground scene of forbidden gyration.  The other dancers exude grace and sex appeal.  All I exude is sweat.    

 “You must feeeeeeeel the music,” Giovanni sings, instructing we’re about to take it from the top.  While all I really feeeeeeel is out of breath, I am determined to redeem myself. 

We begin the routine and, I can’t believe it- I just nailed the first count of eight!  My excitement seems to throw me off entirely, though, and I recover by resorting to my staple Bar-Mitzvah move of step clapping.  Overwhelmingly embarrassed, I look around to see if anybody has noticed but realize that not a single person is looking at me.  Giovanni himself is fixated on his ridiculously toned calves. 

Feeling completely protected in my isolation I finally let myself go.  I throw back my head, kick up my feet and start having the best time.  Although I still have no idea what I’m doing and my awkward movements can’t really be categorized as any genre of dance, the hour quickly turns into the respite I desperately need from my stressful day at the office.

My paranoia at work has led me to believe that my superiors agonize over my performance, carefully judging my every move.  By maybe, just maybe, people aren’t as concerned with my work; maybe they are really more fixated on themselves.  I always thought I needed to apply my work ethic to my exercise regime, but maybe what I really need is to apply my exercise ethic to my work.  Just as long as they don’t install wall-to-wall mirrors in my office.

By Liz Radzick of Manifest Consulting

As we approach the middle of the summer many people are looking to the fall to resume a focused job-search and go for interviews. And successful interviews rely on your ability to talk positively about yourself.

Many people get hives when thinking about self-marketing. “I don’t want to look like an egomaniac” or “I don’t want to come across as bragging” are common concerns.

First of all, it is my general impression that the average Canadian female has a self-esteem deficit the size of Denmark when it comes to accurately appraising her value. Second, the intention behind your self-marketing (see Intention Paves the Way to Success for more on intention) is not to prove your superiority but to engage people and to let them get a positive, accurate view of your activities. People are going to make their own judgments anyway – why not give them good material to work with?

So here are 2 simple things you can do to make sure you communicate your greatness:

1. Minimizing is for Pores

“Just” is one of the words that falls into the category of “minimizer” along with “sort of” “I guess” and “kind of.”

E.g.

I guess that my greatest strength is…

Well, I just oversaw this 3 million dollar product launch…

I sort of pioneered the use of this system nationally…

Don’t think that only Valley Girls talk this way – I have heard literally hundreds of people including managers and executives pitch themselves in a minimizing or ambivalent-sounding way.

2. There is no “I” in “we”

One of the by-products of the corporate focus on teamwork is that people avoid using the word “I” when describing their accomplishments. Why? Fear of being branded “not a team player.” Even when *you* are the one who initiated the sales process, came up with the idea, or organized the database it is more than likely you are hiding your accomplishments behind the “we.” Try detoxing slowly, combining the 2 words in a 50/50 ratio so that you accurately communicate your true contribution along with your peers.

The bottom line for your interviews:  Avoid minimizers and you will maximize your impact!

Want to get some hands on experience and coaching from Liz?

Check out our Boot Camp this Fall